Alayah Ni'Emah Faye

I always wondered how I would know when it was time to push and let me tell you...there is no questioning when the time comes. My body was pushing without my control. The doctor said that I couldn't push because I wasn't fully dialated. She asked me to try to fight the urge. I tried but it hurt worse to fight it and at that point I really didn't care anymore. The doctor decided to go ahead and let me try to push to see what I could do. Once they got me set up the doctor said that the baby had already begun to crown. Once she let me push the pain of the contractions subsided and I was so releaved that I was focusing on the lack of pain and not pushing. The doctor kept having to remind me to push. I remember thinking to myself that since I could feel everything that she was going to end up cutting me and so I didn't want to push. I decided that since the pain was gone that I was just gunna sit there and wait it out. Obviously, I wasn't thinking very clearly. I started pushing at 10:30pm and at 10:44pm Alayah Ni'Emah Faye was born into this world.

She weighed 6lbs 15.9oz and was 19 inches long. Her apgars were 9 and 9. Once she was out the doctor layed her on my chest. Honestly, I felt disconnected from myself. I didn't know what to think or feel. This life just came out of my body....a life that I spent 9 months growing inside me. A life that only I had spent time with. My life changed in an instant and I was disconnected. She didn't cry when she was born...she just layed there quietly trying to open her eyes. I remember helping the nurse wipe her with the towel, but I didn't know what to say or to feel. I think my mind and body were just worn out from the whole experience. I labored from about 5pm to 10:30pm...only5 and a half hours. Not bad for my first labor.

Once she was cleaned up and brought over to me I finally got to take a good look at my new baby girl. I never really imagined her looking a specific way, but I was so happy to meet her and get to see what was growing inside me for so long. I instantly loved her and I can't wait to see what the future holds for lil miss and I. Oh how I love my baby girl.