Friday, January 4, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
She weighed 6lbs 15.9oz and was 19 inches long. Her apgars were 9 and 9. Once she was out the doctor layed her on my chest. Honestly, I felt disconnected from myself. I didn't know what to think or feel. This life just came out of my body....a life that I spent 9 months growing inside me. A life that only I had spent time with. My life changed in an instant and I was disconnected. She didn't cry when she was born...she just layed there quietly trying to open her eyes. I remember helping the nurse wipe her with the towel, but I didn't know what to say or to feel. I think my mind and body were just worn out from the whole experience. I labored from about 5pm to 10:30pm...only5 and a half hours. Not bad for my first labor.
Once she was cleaned up and brought over to me I finally got to take a good look at my new baby girl. I never really imagined her looking a specific way, but I was so happy to meet her and get to see what was growing inside me for so long. I instantly loved her and I can't wait to see what the future holds for lil miss and I. Oh how I love my baby girl.
The contractions just kept coming and they were starting to take my breath away, but nurses checked me and said that I was only two centimeters dialated so they were going to send me home. I was so disappointed when they told me that. I was in so much pain I couldn't think how I was going to handle going home.
Luckily, my doctor happened to be at the hospital so she came in to check me. She said that I was three centimeters dialated at that they were going to go ahead and get a room set up for me. I was so grateful at that point, but also scared that labor was really happening and there was no turning back at this point.
Once the new room was set up they asked me to walk down to the end of the hall. I remember the contractions had spaced out just a little bit but I knew I didn't want to be walking when once came along. I changed into my gown and her daddy held my arm as we walked down the hall. He was trying to be real careful and walk slow, but I felt a contraction coming and I was like "lets go now" and was pulling him along behind me.
When I got into the bed my doctor came in to check me again and I had dialated to 5cm. I couldn't believe I dialated 2cm in less than 30 minutes. The nurse tried to give me an i.v., but she couldn't find a vein. After many attempts they had to call the lif flight crew to come down and get an i.v started. At this point all I wanted was an epidural. They said that I couldn't have an epidural until I had an i.v in for about an hour. I think mentally I lost it at that point. My contractions were every 2 minutes and were lasting almost two minutes each time. I barely had time to recover from one before the next one started. The thought of having hours left to deal with this horrible pain made me want to give up and I lost all strength to deal with the pain. I became emotional and I just wanted it to be over.
They finally got an i.v started and I couldn't wait for the anesthiologist to get there. The epidural was started and I thought "yes! I can take a break and enjoy what is left of my labor."
Unfortunately, the epidural didn't work. They said it would take about 20 minutes to take affect, but the contractions became stronger and more painful.
The doctor said I had dialated to 7cm, but that I had stopped dialating. By now it was some time after 9:00pm. The doctor decided to put a catheter in to empty my bladder so that the baby would drop lower and maybe help with dialating. When the nurse went to put the catheter in I jumped from the pain. She was like "you can feel that?" I said yes and she looked at the doctor and said "I don't think the epidural is working" Are you serious...you think I am moaning and groaning for the fun of it....geez. Shortly after that I began to have the urge to push.
He called my parents and let them know we were headed to the hospital. At that point I lost it and started crying. I don't even know why, but the whole situation was just overwhelming to me. I have all these feelings rushing through my head and they are all mixed up. I am excited, scared, nervous, sad that this phase of my life is ending, and ready for the next phase of my life to begin. It's about 5:45pm and we are headed to the hospital. I'm so nervous and scared right now, but my baby girl is going to be here soon.....I can't wait to meet her!!!