I see this face at least 10 times a day
I have not had a very good day. Alayah's father called to tell me he was "let go" from his job, but knowing his track record he quit his job. He tends to do that every three months just when child support is supposed to kick in. I am so frustrated. He hasn't helped with her financially since she was born. He hasn't seen her since August. He calls maybe once a month to ask about her. Never asks for pictures, nothing.
All he did was donate some genes and it hurts me to know he doesn't care. Maybe he does care, but he has a real crappy way of showing it. He only wants something to do with her when he can show her off in public. Otherwise he is never around. He barely knows anything about her. I am struggling with my feelings of anger and disgust with him and doing what is best by Alayah in regards to him.
Do I let him be a part of her life or not? If he's in her life how to I protect her from being hurt? If I keep him from her, will she hate me? I never set out to be a single parent, but her father is not mentally stable and it was best for us to not be around him 24/7. I think he may be bi-polar or manic depressive or something.
I don't want him doing his emotional and mental mind games on Alayah. I also don't want her crying because he is never around. He is coming back to town today and I am not thrilled at all. Why did he choose to come back here. The only thing here for him is Alayah. He has two kids and all his family is in New Mexico. Why didn't he go there?
It stresses me out because he wants to be with me and I do not want anything to do with him except be parents to Alayah. He can't or won't differentiate the two. I feel uneasy and uncomfortable around him. I hate that I can't even stomach her father. *sigh*
All he did was donate some genes and it hurts me to know he doesn't care. Maybe he does care, but he has a real crappy way of showing it. He only wants something to do with her when he can show her off in public. Otherwise he is never around. He barely knows anything about her. I am struggling with my feelings of anger and disgust with him and doing what is best by Alayah in regards to him.
Do I let him be a part of her life or not? If he's in her life how to I protect her from being hurt? If I keep him from her, will she hate me? I never set out to be a single parent, but her father is not mentally stable and it was best for us to not be around him 24/7. I think he may be bi-polar or manic depressive or something.
I don't want him doing his emotional and mental mind games on Alayah. I also don't want her crying because he is never around. He is coming back to town today and I am not thrilled at all. Why did he choose to come back here. The only thing here for him is Alayah. He has two kids and all his family is in New Mexico. Why didn't he go there?
It stresses me out because he wants to be with me and I do not want anything to do with him except be parents to Alayah. He can't or won't differentiate the two. I feel uneasy and uncomfortable around him. I hate that I can't even stomach her father. *sigh*
2 comments:
*Hugs* It's hard, I have some friends going through the same thing. One of my BFF has joint custody and decision making with her ex but of course he never ever makes decisions and pays child support when he can but not often. She still allows him to take her some weekends so she can have a relationship with her Daddy. In the end I think the child will eventually see his true colors.
That's what I've been thinking as well. He has two other kids he never sees and their moms and I have decided that his relationship with them is his responsibility. I just hate that when he does try to be involved I don't want him to be lol...
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