Pouty Face

Some days she just doesn't want to cooperate with her mama

Alayah's 2 year Pix

http://jenhebertphotography.blogspot.com/ Check out her pictures here. I am in L-O-V-E with them!

*SIGH*

I see this face at least 10 times a day

I have not had a very good day. Alayah's father called to tell me he was "let go" from his job, but knowing his track record he quit his job. He tends to do that every three months just when child support is supposed to kick in. I am so frustrated. He hasn't helped with her financially since she was born. He hasn't seen her since August. He calls maybe once a month to ask about her. Never asks for pictures, nothing.
All he did was donate some genes and it hurts me to know he doesn't care. Maybe he does care, but he has a real crappy way of showing it. He only wants something to do with her when he can show her off in public. Otherwise he is never around. He barely knows anything about her. I am struggling with my feelings of anger and disgust with him and doing what is best by Alayah in regards to him.
Do I let him be a part of her life or not? If he's in her life how to I protect her from being hurt? If I keep him from her, will she hate me? I never set out to be a single parent, but her father is not mentally stable and it was best for us to not be around him 24/7. I think he may be bi-polar or manic depressive or something.
I don't want him doing his emotional and mental mind games on Alayah. I also don't want her crying because he is never around. He is coming back to town today and I am not thrilled at all. Why did he choose to come back here. The only thing here for him is Alayah. He has two kids and all his family is in New Mexico. Why didn't he go there?
It stresses me out because he wants to be with me and I do not want anything to do with him except be parents to Alayah. He can't or won't differentiate the two. I feel uneasy and uncomfortable around him. I hate that I can't even stomach her father. *sigh*

Sweet Dreams

So peaceful...I'm still thinking Alayah in her own room is hardest on me...I have to fight the urge to bring her into bed with me...I'm lonely at night

1/27/10

Tumbling tonight went better. Alayah has only been to three classes and tonight she walked the balance beam all by herself! She did so good. She still throws fits the first 10 minutes or so, but at least she is participating more.
Today was not a good day for me and I'm so tired. I need a good vacation. Her coordinator for her speech evaluations called today to tell me she still doesn't qualify and basically oh, well. I am beyond frustrated. She said that Alayah's speech delay isn't enough to qualify her because she is so far advanced with everything else. I feel like just because she is good at some things she is falling through the cracks when it comes to her speech issue. I am so tired of trying to advocate for her and my cries falling on deaf ears. It took me a year to get something done about her constant ear infections, i've taken her to four speech evaluations, and I've tried getting her father to be a frickin' dad and all of it seems to be to no avail.
I feel like no one but me cares about her and it hurts. *sigh*

Sleeping in her own room

Alayah has officially as of tonight slept in her own room for one whole week. She's only two lol. Hopefully, the trend will stay. I have gotten so used to her being in my bed that I get lonely without her and sometimes I wonder if it is harder on me or her.

silly girl

She makes some of the silliest faces

Success

posing with her success...yes I'm weird

Alayah went poopy in the potty this morning. Yay! It took her a couple of times to sitting for it to happen. She would say she needed to go and then would sit down and get up after a few minutes with nothing. Then a few minutes later she sat on it again and success! I was praising her and all she did was turn up her nose and say "caca." It was cute.


I took her to a movie today and we did a little shopping. We were walking through target and she kept asking me "wuz that momma" at every single thing we passed.

Piggy Bank

I gave Alayah a bunch of change today to put into her piggy bank. I absolutely love her piggy bank. My grandmother bought it for me at Christmas the week before she was born. I wasn't expecting it and I was thrilled. It kept Alayah busy for 15 minutes and she put every single coin in it.

Friday

Alayah used her first plural word today "shoes." Baby steps. She had someone go to her daycare today to do another speech evaluation to see if she will qualify for any services. She has gained some ground but is still behind.

My big girl is so sweet lately and so empathetic. I hope she carries that quality with her the rest of her life. She was so cute tonight. She asked me to open something for her that she thought required scissors. Since she couldn't find the scissors she brought me a mini screwdriver instead. She was so proud and handed it over saying "here mama."

She also asked for "moany"...aka money at the mall tonight so she could get some candy out of the machine. I was so glad she tried to use a new word I had no problem handing over a quarter. Oh, how I love that little girl.

haha

This girl is too funny

Tumbling week two

Tumbling went a little bit better this week. She still cried and through a fit at the beginning, but she warmed up after a little bit. She hopped like a frog, walked the balance beam, and she even got to jump on a trampoline for the first time. She was a little unsure of it at first, but once she realized it was fun she wouldn't get off.

She did do some back flips today off the edge of a mat so that is an improvement from last week. She still won't do the stretches or the headstands. I hope she does a lot better next week.

Thankful Tuesday

~Thankful~

Monday

Alayah and I went out to eat with some friends tonight. She absolutely loves her friend Lailah. She also calls her other friends Lailah as well. She asks for her everyday. I bought Alayah a CD that has the alphabet song on it and she really likes the song and can sing the "P", "T", and "Z" parts. The rest of the time she just nods her head along.

She makes me smile

Potty Training

this is how she feels about potty training

I thought since we had nothing to do today I would attempt working on potty training. Alayah had other ideas. She doesn't mind wearing panties, but she refuses to sit on the potty. She screams and cries and pouts. *sigh* I guess I will have to wait until she is more interested in it to try. I don't want to force her and make it something she hates.

Rescreening

Alayah had her developmental rescreening today. She is still way ahead of her age in all areas but her language. They want to do another full evaluation to see if she will qualify for any services. I am a little frustrated as I feel like we are just going in circles. She had definitely improved since getting tubes in her ears and she is doing some things she is supposed to be like putting two and three words together, but her vocabulary isn't up where it should be. I feel like she is progressing but still staying 2-3 months behind where she should be everytime we do the evaluations. Part of me thinks I am making too big of a deal about it, but the other part of me doesn't want to let it go and it become a bigger problem later on.

2 Year Check Up

Alayah had her two year check up today. She is 27lbs 2oz and 34" tall. She is in the 55th percentile for both height and weight. Her head was 49cm and in the 90th percentile. No wonder I can't find hats that fit. She is doing very well and I cannot believe this time two years ago she was just a teeny tiny babe. She got her H1N1 shot today so she has a fever tonight and has just been spending time laying around. We also went to Olive Garden tonight and she sat so nicely and didn't through any tantrums while we were there. I was so happy she behaved herself.

Alayah's First Tumbling Class

Alayah started her first tumbling class today. She didn't want to participate or listen to the teacher so I had to sit with her the whole time. I didn't get to take very many pictures since I was trying to chase her around. She really loved the balance beam and even made it have way across on her own.

I think she will really enjoy it, once she is comfortable and start understanding the concept of taking turns and listening.
She was practicing making dinner tonight with her play kitchen. She really enjoys doing things that involve imitating.

?

I didn't know what to title this post. Not much to say except that I am trying to post everyday this month so we will see how it goes. We didn't do anything today except spend time at home.

Alayah's new fish

I had to take Alayah to buy a new fish as her ones from yesterday died. I can't believe they didn't make it through the night. I also signed her up for tumbling lessons today, so I had to go to Target to try and find a leotard in her size.

Alayah admiring her new fish. He doesn't have a name yet. I'm still mourning the loss of Max and Lola.


This girl is just too cool. She even knows how to coordinate.


I love how she is starting to pose and say cheese for the camera.

Alayah's First Pet

Alayah got a Fish tank from her Grandparents for her birthday, so they took her out and let her pick out some fish. She chose two angel fish and helped Grandma put the tank together and fill it with water.


She contemplated on what to name them and Mommy picked Max and Lola. She was so excited to have her fishies and loves to feed them their food.

Alayah's Birthday Party

I had an Elmo Dance Party for Alayah's bday and she had so much fun. There was dancing, games, and of course food. Alayah loved playing ring around the rosy and pinning the nose on Elmo.


She blew each of her candles out one at a time and got a little shy when everyone was singing to her.

She had such a great day and got tons of presents. I was so glad that so many people came out to celebrate my beautiful baby girl with me.

I loved her outfit too lol...It was so cute on her. I am glad the party is over now. All that planning is hard work!

Family Night

Alayah was up all night crying that her ear hurt so my parents took her to the doctor for me today and she has another ear infection. I was hoping the tubes would get rid of that problem, but it doesn't look like it's going to take them all away. She got to spend the whole day with my parents while I was at work today, so when I got off we all went out to eat at a local restaurant.



Alayah entertained herself by running back and forth in the foyer area.

Alayah had so much fun with her papa. She is really smitten with him lately.



Poor girl not feeling very good.
All in all we had a great day and Alayah and I are both enjoying having my parents in town.

Multi-Tasking

Alayah has now mastered talking on the phone and working at the same time. She is so serious when she gets on the phone lately. She will just jabber on and on even though no one can understand what she is saying.


We were wasting time before heading to the airport to pick up my parents who are visiting this weekend for Alayah's birthday party. I'm sure she will be so excited to see them.

Love

I'm so glad I get to come home to this face everyday.

How

Can someone please tell me how this little girl got so big?

Chilling

We just stayed around the house tonight. I'm still adjusting to the fact I have a two year old now. I can't believe it. Alayah has been working on using her spoon full time now. Usually she uses it a few times and then starts picking things up with her left hand. Hopefully, she will get the hang of it soon.

Happy 2nd Birthday Alayah!!

Today you are two years old. My how the time has flown by. I remember this day two years ago so vividly. My life forever changed when you were born. You are my best friend and I love you sooooo much. We went out to eat and to a movie today and we are having your birthday party on Saturday. I can't wait to see what this year brings and I hope I can always remember these times when you were so little. Happy Birthday Baby Girl!