I don't have to

For the last three years I have been asking Alayah's father for pictures of his mother who passed away in 2004. I want the pictures so that I can show them to Alayah so she knows her family members on his side. I've never received any. Alayah's uncle passed away last May and he has several children who are Alayah's cousins. I asked at that time for pictures of her uncle and for pictures of his kids...never received any. Alayah's father has an older brother who was at the funeral of the uncle who passed away and Alayah's half-sister's mom(hope I haven't lost you) talked to him and got his phone number and has been in contact with him several times since the funeral.
Alayah's father likes to stretch the truth no matter what it is, so me and Alayah's siblings' mothers have unanswered questions regarding that side of the family.
Alayah's half-sisters mom has been asking him questions and getting what I am hoping are truthful answers. It has helped close up a lot of unanswered questions like...Is Alayah's dad really Jamaican and Puerto Rican. These types of things are important to me because they are parts of Alayah's history.
Alayah's dad doesn't like me to ask anyone questions about him or his family to anyone but him. He feels all things must go through him. If they don't he has a hissy fit. Literally.
At the time of his brothers death he called me up and cussed me out because I asked a family member for pictures and information. He felt I should only ask him. I said fine and asked him for the information. It's been 9 months and nothing. I asked Alayah's half-sisters mom to ask the older uncle for his address so I could send him pictures of Alayah and to ask him about his kids and maybe see if he has any pictures of his mother he could send for her.She kept forgetting to ask him so I asked Alayah's dad to see what he would say. His comment was "What for" I told him why and he said his brother already had pictures of her. Ones he forwards to his cell phone. I knew I was getting nowhere with him so I left it alone because I knew Alayah's half-sisters mom was going to ask him. She asked him and he agreed to give me his address.
Well I get a call from Alayah's dad today cussing me out for going around him again. I told him I get tired of him never coming through. He said I want it in my time and that I should just let him handle it. I'm sorry but I don't see why I should wait years for information. He wanted to know why I'm so rushed about it. Umm...let's see. The biggest reason is we are not guaranteed tomorrow. Alayah never got to meet the uncle who passed away because her dad was a jerk and wouldn't give me his information so I could contact him when we were in his town. He died a few weeks later. Because he is selfish she misses out. His brother missed out on meeting her.
Her father didn't tell anyone in his family Alayah even existed until after she was born and I doubt it was because he wanted to. Her dad told me that he wants to keep his family information and stuff to himself and then share it with her when she is a teenager. He wants it to be something for him to share with her not me. Am I being unreasonable?
I keep coming back to the we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. If he croaks tomorrow how will she know anything about herself? or her family? I told him that I didn't have to spend my money or time to drive to New Mexico so that Alayah can see her siblings every year. I didn't have to put my time or energy into hunting down family members and asking them awkward questions so that I can tell my daughter about her family. I don't have to talk to his family and tell them about a special little girl. I don't even have to talk to her father, but I do. I put up with him yelling at me and calling me names because I love her. I put her first. I don't want her to question who she is or who her family is. I spend time with her siblings mothers only because I love her and what her to have time with her siblings and have a relationship with them. I know its awkward for all of the moms to be in a room together and be friendly, but we all do it for the kids. Because of my research and hard work and putting up with her dad's crap I have people in his family who care about Alayah and know her.
 I told him all the stuff I didn't have to do and he said he never asked me to. If I didn't do all this she would have nothing because he wouldn't do it either. He barely even knows her. He only calls once a month. He hasn't seen her since August. His kids don't know him and eventually they won't care to know him. Ughh....I'm just so frustrated.