Vocal Baby

Alayah's personality is coming out more and more everyday. She wakes up so happy in the morning it makes me want to start my day that much sooner just to spend time with her. She always greets me with a smile and it melts my heart everytime. She has definitely discovered her vocal cords and boy does she use them. She just jabbers on and on...its so cute. I love you Alayah

Wordless Wednesday

I love this picture. My beautiful baby. Words cannot express my love

This is one of my favorite pictures of Alayah and her daddy. I took it on 1/8/08 when she was five days old. I can't believe how much she has changed since then. She is growing so fast.

Alayah rolled over!

Last Friday on the 5th, Alayah decided she did not want to go to sleep when mommy layed her down on her tummy. She pushed herself over very quickly like she was an old pro. Luckily she did it when everyone was paying attention and we all got to see her new milestone. I am such a proud mommy! Of course, she hasn't done it since but at least I saw the first one lol

Mommy and Me Day

Alayah and I had the day to ourselves so we did some much needed shopping at the mall. Okay, maybe not so much needed lol. I got her a few summer outfits that were on sale which she will eventually need lol. The best part of the day was this morning when she finally decided to laugh for me!! I actually was able to get it on tape..I am so happy. Of course what is a shopping day without a major blowout and an outfit change.

It was so gross and she was wearing white so I only hope the stains will come out. This was the first time she has been able to wear this outfit and it was kind of sad. It was one of the first outfits I bought her right after I found out she was going to be girl.

Doctor Visit

I had to tak Alayah to the doctor today. She has had a runny nose and has been coughing since Thursday night. Of course, it turned out to be just a regular old cold and there isn't much to do except wait it out. It's just so sad to see her sick and feeling icky. She did really well at the appointment...she didn't cry when I stripped her down, or when I put her on the scale, or when he listened to her heart and lungs. She did however let her irratation known when he tried to look at her throat. It was kind of funny because it was more of an irratated ticked off cry and I thought it was cute, but I did feel bad for her because she hated it so much. She is up to 11lbs 2oz already!! I can't believe how quickly she is growing.

She also had a laughing fit today at the babysitters house. It was awesome to hear, but it made me very sad that I missed it. She wont laugh for me :( I know it will happen sooner or later tho.

1 month wrap up

1-4-08

2-2-08

It has been such an exciting month baby girl. You are going to bed around 10 or 11 and you sleep until between 6 and 9 am. You are growing fast...you started eating around 1-2 ounces of milk every 2-3 hours and you've moved up to eating 4 ounces every 3 hours. Mommy is trying to breastfeed you only, but you have had one bottle so far this month and you didn't like it at all. You have discovered your hands and suck on them when you are hungry. You can also turn your head side to side when you are on your tummy and you hold your head up like a champ. You are also starting to coo. You sigh out loud and its the cutest thing and you also make some "ah" sounds. You started out weighing 6lbs 15.9oz and finished the month weighing 8lbs 4oz. You also went from 19 inches to 20.75 inches. This has been the best month of my life so far and I am so thankful that you are my daughter. I love you more than you will ever realize.

First Day of Life

After Alayah was born her daddy went with her to take pictures of her getting her first bath. I really wish that I could have been there to see that, but instead I was taking a much needed hot shower. It felt so good to just stand under the hot water. I remember standing there thinking that when I come out of the bathroom my daughter will be on the other side of the door. My child who I grew and loved inside of me is now experiencing her first moments apart from me. It was almost like stepping from the surreal to the real with the opening of a door.

Once I was out of the shower we were moved to another(much smaller)room. This is where I was able to hold my baby without anyone but her daddy around and really take in the beautiful child that God had sent me. I ran my finger down her cheeks just trying to take in every thing about her. Her daddy and I stayed up until about six am when we decided to go to sleep, but right when we were getting comfy...the nurses came in to do their morning rounds. They drew my blood and took Alayah off to the nursery so that her pediatrition could take a look at her. Once Alayah was gone her dad decided to go home and get some sleep and take a shower. I tried to get some sleep, but I couldn't get my mind to quiet down. Thoughts of the future and memories of the night flooded my brain. After about an hour I couldn't stand being away from my girl any longer. I buzzed the nurse to have her find out if she could come back to my room yet. I waited and waited and no one came back. Her daddy finally came back about 9 and I demanded that he go to the nursery and get her as I couldn't be away from her anymore. I needed my baby. He brought her back and I felt like I was complete again. I held my girl and put her in her first little outfit. I remember when I bought it everyone said that it was going to be too small, but we proved them wrong as it fit perfectly.

Later in the afternoon after some visitors and a rest we were moved to another room that had two beds so that her daddy would have somewhere to rest as well. The wind was so bad that night that it kept blowing the power out and the generators would kick in. It was kind of annoying because it would shut the t.v off each time and I would have to flip through all the channels to get back to where I was. My best friend and Alayah's godmommy came to visit us for a little bit and right before bed the nurse came in and took Alayah off to get her pictures taken. The nurse said she would bring her back when they were done, but I fell asleep and it wasn't until almost six am that she brought her back. I was disappointed, but at the same time I know that I needed my sleep. My first day as a mommy...completely wonderful.

I love her so much and I don't know what my life was before she was here. She has given me meaning. Thank you God...thank you :)

Alayah Ni'Emah Faye

I always wondered how I would know when it was time to push and let me tell you...there is no questioning when the time comes. My body was pushing without my control. The doctor said that I couldn't push because I wasn't fully dialated. She asked me to try to fight the urge. I tried but it hurt worse to fight it and at that point I really didn't care anymore. The doctor decided to go ahead and let me try to push to see what I could do. Once they got me set up the doctor said that the baby had already begun to crown. Once she let me push the pain of the contractions subsided and I was so releaved that I was focusing on the lack of pain and not pushing. The doctor kept having to remind me to push. I remember thinking to myself that since I could feel everything that she was going to end up cutting me and so I didn't want to push. I decided that since the pain was gone that I was just gunna sit there and wait it out. Obviously, I wasn't thinking very clearly. I started pushing at 10:30pm and at 10:44pm Alayah Ni'Emah Faye was born into this world.

She weighed 6lbs 15.9oz and was 19 inches long. Her apgars were 9 and 9. Once she was out the doctor layed her on my chest. Honestly, I felt disconnected from myself. I didn't know what to think or feel. This life just came out of my body....a life that I spent 9 months growing inside me. A life that only I had spent time with. My life changed in an instant and I was disconnected. She didn't cry when she was born...she just layed there quietly trying to open her eyes. I remember helping the nurse wipe her with the towel, but I didn't know what to say or to feel. I think my mind and body were just worn out from the whole experience. I labored from about 5pm to 10:30pm...only5 and a half hours. Not bad for my first labor.

Once she was cleaned up and brought over to me I finally got to take a good look at my new baby girl. I never really imagined her looking a specific way, but I was so happy to meet her and get to see what was growing inside me for so long. I instantly loved her and I can't wait to see what the future holds for lil miss and I. Oh how I love my baby girl.

Labor

The contractions started to get really sharp and painful on the way to the hospital. I told her daddy to park in the parking garage and I would walk into the hospital. I had this overwhelming urge to want to be tough. I could have been dropped off at the front door and wheeled up to the third floor, but walking felt more empowering. I remember being in the elevator with several people and even though I was in really bad pain I wanted to stand there and look like it wasn't. Once we got to the third floor the nurses set me up in a room so that they could check to see how far I was dialated.




The contractions just kept coming and they were starting to take my breath away, but nurses checked me and said that I was only two centimeters dialated so they were going to send me home. I was so disappointed when they told me that. I was in so much pain I couldn't think how I was going to handle going home.

Luckily, my doctor happened to be at the hospital so she came in to check me. She said that I was three centimeters dialated at that they were going to go ahead and get a room set up for me. I was so grateful at that point, but also scared that labor was really happening and there was no turning back at this point.



Once the new room was set up they asked me to walk down to the end of the hall. I remember the contractions had spaced out just a little bit but I knew I didn't want to be walking when once came along. I changed into my gown and her daddy held my arm as we walked down the hall. He was trying to be real careful and walk slow, but I felt a contraction coming and I was like "lets go now" and was pulling him along behind me.




When I got into the bed my doctor came in to check me again and I had dialated to 5cm. I couldn't believe I dialated 2cm in less than 30 minutes. The nurse tried to give me an i.v., but she couldn't find a vein. After many attempts they had to call the lif flight crew to come down and get an i.v started. At this point all I wanted was an epidural. They said that I couldn't have an epidural until I had an i.v in for about an hour. I think mentally I lost it at that point. My contractions were every 2 minutes and were lasting almost two minutes each time. I barely had time to recover from one before the next one started. The thought of having hours left to deal with this horrible pain made me want to give up and I lost all strength to deal with the pain. I became emotional and I just wanted it to be over.


They finally got an i.v started and I couldn't wait for the anesthiologist to get there. The epidural was started and I thought "yes! I can take a break and enjoy what is left of my labor."


Unfortunately, the epidural didn't work. They said it would take about 20 minutes to take affect, but the contractions became stronger and more painful.

The doctor said I had dialated to 7cm, but that I had stopped dialating. By now it was some time after 9:00pm. The doctor decided to put a catheter in to empty my bladder so that the baby would drop lower and maybe help with dialating. When the nurse went to put the catheter in I jumped from the pain. She was like "you can feel that?" I said yes and she looked at the doctor and said "I don't think the epidural is working" Are you serious...you think I am moaning and groaning for the fun of it....geez. Shortly after that I began to have the urge to push.

Headed to the hospital

I headed home and when I got there, her daddy was already getting out of the shower and getting himself ready to go. I layed down in bed with a notebook so I could continue to time my contractions. The contractions started to really bother me so I decided to take a bath. I got in the bathtub and it was too hot and not comfortable so I got back in bed. The contractions started to change up going from 2 minutes to 13 minutes to 5 minutes, so I thought that it was over...it was false labor. Her daddy kept telling me to get ready to go to the hospital its time. I said no....I don't think its the real deal. He asked me how far apart the contractions were and they were about 2-3 minutes apart for the last half hour.
He called my parents and let them know we were headed to the hospital. At that point I lost it and started crying. I don't even know why, but the whole situation was just overwhelming to me. I have all these feelings rushing through my head and they are all mixed up. I am excited, scared, nervous, sad that this phase of my life is ending, and ready for the next phase of my life to begin. It's about 5:45pm and we are headed to the hospital. I'm so nervous and scared right now, but my baby girl is going to be here soon.....I can't wait to meet her!!!

I think I'm in labor

I woke up this morning feeling really crampy and tired. I was still sore from the membrane stripping yesterday so I didn't think much of it. I went to work at 10:00am and after about an hour or two I felt this tingly feeling in my back. It didn't hurt, but it was starting to get annoying. I decided to start timing them to see if there was a pattern and sure enough every 6-7 minutes my back would tingle. After an hour I called my doctor to ask if it could be early labor. The nurse told me to keep timing them and when they got to 5 minutes apart for an hour to go to the hospital to get checked. I stayed at work until about 3pm when the contractions were starting to hurt and I couldn't sit comfortably anymore.

Ouch!!

I had a doctor's appointment today for my 40 week check. I waited in the room for over two hours with my mom when the doctor finally came in. It was kind of annoying as I was naked from the waste down the whole time, and it is really hard to sit or lay with a big giant basketball in your lap. The doctor checked me and said that I was 1-2cm not much change from the week before. She decided to strip my membranes and let oh my gosh that hurt!!! It was nice to know that the baby is still doing okay, but its scary to think that the time is almost here for me to have to push this baby out. I haven't quite let myself totally think about that yet because I'm so afraid to think about it. Tomorrow is her due date, but I don't think that she is going to come on time. Her daddy has been antsy about her coming for the last couple of weeks. I'm okay with her not coming on time because I'm enjoying being pregnant and feeling her move inside me.

Friday Family Photo Fun Challenge

I decided to participate in Double Happiness' Family Photo Fun Friday Challenge. I know I don't have my own family, but these kids are like family to me. Her challenge this week is "hands." We use our hands for everything from work to play to showing love and affection to comfort we use them to talk to protect and to illustrate.
These are random pictures I've taken over the year. The top one is of my friends son when he was around eight months old. The second picture is of my god-daughter Teyha digging into her cake on her first birthday.

The above picture is another friends daughter down by the river in our city. The two pictures below I took over the summer at various gardens.

This is a picture of two little girls I used to babysit...I love their little fingers in contrast to the chain on the tire swing. It reminds me of how tiny they really were.
I like this picture just because of all that it represents to me. The color contrast and if you dig deeper...this picture would not have existed many years ago.

Denver Trip

So I'm back and semi-recovered from a long weekend..a very long weekend. The girls and I got to Denver around four on Friday and checked into the hotel, bathed, and changed clothes then headed to the mall. I love shopping in big cities!!! There are so many choices and so much variety its a shop-a-holics heaven lol. The girls love walking the mall and flirting with all the people they meet. After the mall we headed to Olive Garden where we had to wait over an hour for a table. Now what possesed me to sit and wait with three children for an hour I don't know. I think I was too tired to load them back in the car and try to find somewhere else to go and at the time I definitely was not in the mood for Chuck E Cheese. The girls were so good I was amazed. I was so proud of them...even the manager came out to say that she thought they were the best behaved kids in the resteraunt that night and even gave me a discount off our meal.
On Saturday we went shopping again and then I decided to give in and take them to Chuck E Cheese. The kids again were good, but tired so we didn't stay long which was no problem for me. My friend was coming to Denver to pick up her cousin from the airport Saturday night, but got a flat tire and wasn't going to make it, so I took the kids to go pick up my friends' cousin.
So I had to get the kids out of the bath in some clothes and drive in the middle of a rainstorm to the airport find parking...load the kids into the stroller and brave the Denver airport. I don't know how many of you have flown into or out of the Denver airport, but it is huge and then trying to find someone you've never met in swarms of people with three cranky tired kids...not fun. Needless to say we did find her and made it back safely.
Sunday was church and the zoo, which of course had to be crowded to the limit and I didn't get to take the pictures that I wanted to. I was pretty disappointed. The kids had fun though and it was amazing to see how big the girls have gotten since November. I will post pictures soon.

Random Thoughts pt. 1

Wow! I just realized I did not post a single blog for the month of February. I'm kinda mad at myself mainly just because last month was a busy month and so much happened that I wanted to document for memories sake. Oh, well.
In other thoughts the girls and I are going to Denver this weekend(praying the weather is nice)for a weekend of shopping, eating, and just plain fun with Holly. The girls and I haven't been to Denver since the beginning of November and boy was that a long weekend. I went to Denver with six children under the age of four. I know, I know... I'm crazy.
It was so much fun and the kids were so well behaved it made me want to do it again...later lol when they are older. I know some may read this and think what parents in their right minds would send that many children with one person out of town for three days? I can understand concern and believe me, I have heard it many times before. My thought what does it matter as these children and myself have nothing to do with you and you know nothing about me and my capabilities.
Many of my friends are my age and have at least four young children a piece. So many times they call me to help them because they need a break or advice. The Lord blessed me with patience beyond my years and a gift with children that I cannot explain. My friends trust me and have no reservations about the care I provide their children. Children are my life and I learn so much from the time that I spend with them. They are what makes me happy and I can't imagine my life without them.

Gorgeous

Cianna and Teyha....two of the loves of my life. Teyha is my goddaughter and Cianna is my best friends daughter who is more like my niece. Teyha is almost 19 months and Cianna is almost 17 months old. Every weekend the girls and I do something together. They both love their time with me and we have so much fun. This weekend we played it low key seeing as how it was below zero for most of the weekend. We did manage to make it to the mall and strut our stuff. I always dress the girls alike when they are together...well one is for me...if heaven forbid one gets lost...I will know exactly what they were wearing and the other is the fact that when they are older I don't want them to see pictures of themselves and ask me why one of them had something nice on and the other didn't and I also don't want strangers to think I favor one over the other. Here are some pictures from this weekend. The girls already have a good bond and they have so much fun together. They have been buds since the day Cianna was born. Its been amazing to see them grow over the last year and a half. I love you girls so much!!!

okay so i'm one of them

I read blogs everday....i enjoy being able to read about so many different families and lives that are touched in so many ways. I find blogs to be more intriguing then some books I have read. I read blogs everyday, but sometimes there are no new posts in the infamous blogger world. I find myself wondering how can these bloggers keep their readers hanging for so long...tsk tsk tsk. Well, I've noticed that I haven't posted a blog for many days and honestly I either didnt feel like it or didn't think about it. It doesn't really matter because nobody has visited my blog yet anyway, but I can now relate to other bloggers in taking a break or not posting.
I had the girls this weekend and we had so much fun. They are at the age where they are absorbing in everything and looking to me to guide them. I love it. I love making a difference in their lives and building on the bond that we have. This blog is getting kinda long, but in my next blog i will post some more on the girls and some pictures that we took over the weekend.

Miss Teyha

I'd like to introduce to you my goddaughter Teyha. She is my world and I love her more than anything. She's eighteen months and she is the light of my life. Just look at her...how can you not fall in love with that beautiful face. I'm not a mom, but I can't wait until the day when the Lord blesses my life with a child wether it be by birth or through adoption. Adoption is something that I know I will eventually do and is very important to me. I love reading fellow bloggers journeys through adoption.

Since I do not have kids of my own, my blog will definitely reference children who are important in my life.(with their parents permission of course) Teyha is also becoming a tiny professional at posing for pictures. I love photography and she is one of my main subjects. I'm sure she rolls her eyes and sighs to herself whenever I pull out the camera. I will post more pictures soon.

The infamous first post

Well, I've been meaning to start a blog now for several months. I've been reading and following along on with many bloggers for awhile now and have decided to take the plunge into bloggerdom. Of course, now that I've started to write this post...I don't feel like writing.
I guess I could start with why I chose the name lackadaisical. I work customer service for a well known company and today a customer informed "me" that I was lackadaisical and did not care about her needs. First, I was completely caught off guard with the term lackadaisical(i mean who uses that), then i took the "me" and thought the customer must of meant the company as a whole, but then she went on and on about the lack of care I presented over the phone. Hmmm....me lackadaisical. I began to think....was this because her request was something that I knew I was going to be unable to help her with, was it the fact that her request was so far beyond fathomable that I disregarded her as "one of those customers", or was it the fact that today was just not a good day for me...having nothing to do with the customers request at all??? I think it was the fact that this person was upset because I told her that she may not return something that she purchased two years ago and get an exchange for something else even though she had never opened the item. I mean come on now. That's like buying a computer keeping it in the box and never opening it and then two years later when you finally get around to it decide that it is outdated and you want to return it for a newer model....sorry but any business owner in their right mind would tell you no. I think I was telling myself that this woman is getting majorly upset when there are so many other things in this world that are far worse....for example my life lol...I'm just kidding. More like people are dying, starving, homeless, etc etc.
Wow....It's amazing what you can write about when you just write thinking of nothing.